From my blogroll: someone's getting passionate about teaching, albeit he admits it's still a big adjustment. Someone else is debating with himself about sex and relationships and falling in love. Someone's missing friends, reminiscing shared moments and wishing it would happen again; while, other people are getting angry at idiots, conceptualizing the cover of his new book, creating the biggest circle of friends, processing writing workshops, engaging others in a discourse on human life, pondering if "good girls" are boring.
It's fun reading about these, getting insights into what my friends are thinking for the moment. Then I wonder what their impressions are when they see my constantly non-updated blog. Do they think I'm busy? Or lost? Or that I stopped thinking?
Because I think that's what happened. I stopped thinking. And feeling. Before I used to bubble over with things to do, what ifs, solutions to little problems, goals, dreams, the whys and hows. Now, there's nothing there. And I don't know where can I get a good enough reason to fill it up again.
What's more, I haven't been writing for the past six months. Not even blog entries that could be of use to the everyday life of people who might chance upon it. No witty turns of phrases here. No brilliant take on a topic that I am passionate about. It's like all my enthusiasm to write got buried under a busy Cebu street, and I totally forgot about it or am too apathetic to dig it up again.
My job is interesting; I like my new room near I.T. Park. I visit Dumaguete once a month; I text, catch up on the latest news, write emails, discuss proposals, meet and talk with friends.
My life is fine. But I am not on fire.
And I feel like, as I sit here in front of the computer wishing I were far away, I would like to be on fire very, very much.
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10 comments:
ditto. D-I-T-T-O. can one say super ditto and make sense?
it's like whenever i write i stop in the middle because i've forgotten what i was writing for and about in the first places. it's scary not to feel strongly about anything like this. waaay scary... i used to be filled with strong emotions (misplaced yes, but strong nonetheless), now i'm frigging dessert. not lifeless but just really really dry...:(
mitch i'll repost some of the stuff u said in my blog ha?
sure mar=) don't wanna use the word "robot" because that's something I will never become. ok na ang desert.=)
what we need is VEEEKESHYOOOOOOOOOOOOON! but no beach for now, we might chance upon a cadaver...argh! why do we feel the same? ang problema nako kay wa pa ko kabalo kung unsa jud ako ganahan...right now, i wanna be a fasssyen designer.hahahaha. LOST student just ko oi.
kewl! fashion designer. hehe. bayeeeet. let's chika about this, when we aren't holding microphones in our hands and singing chikitita (the spanish version).
maamaze bitaw ko sa mga tao who seem like they know where they're going, despite hardship or the sacrifices the have to make. what made them so sure that's the right path?
chada diay feeling i'm not alone in this. di ko as lost as i thought. hehe.
i won't guess who is mad about idiots hahaha pero katawa jud kos imong mirida ni coelho mich ambot lang haha
yow yow you??!!
i wish i can drink with you guys this friday when you get herebut niabsent na ko atong wednesday hahaha
i just realized i wrote dessert. as in dessert. should have i had said, 'not lifeless, but just really, really, sugary?" hehe.
Don't worry,,, kalma ra mong tanan,,, you'll get there... some day. char. (at nagsalita ang lost) hehehehe.. isa-pa, sakto si jelo. all you guys need is vekeshon. as in like a wek vekeshon. if dili jud kaya, na hala, tulo nalang ka adlaw.. pero mek shur na enyo ko embetarun. hehehehe. and let's bonpayr. oh my.. bonpayr. shiet. oh im really sorry. this is my perst time. ohh aahahahahaha... well.. my pamily's role is oh my gahd. haha. ada wala ra... na bored ra ko. o sha, bekeshon ha... kitang tanan. bow.
aiken, you sound gayer than mara did a couple of years ago???
(then i realized)..matingala ka mich dili na siya mosound gayer. duh.
east, mirida jud ko paolo coehlo. pakshet na siya. aside from those two books, galagot na ko sa uban. murag danielle steele, i only read when i have no other choice.
mar. sugary life. kanang lamigason ba. giatay, love life na pud.hehe.
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