Last Saturday, I ventured to ask the question "How are long distance relationships supposed to work?" to Angel (new relationship), JC (it's complicated) and Verna (recently single). My opinion (almost 2-year relationship) was supposed to be a mere factor to the equation.
Obviously, I was bothered.
Here was what I was ranting about in my feverish little brain: I don't see the point of long-distance relationships.
Why would you want to be with someone and not see them from time to time, talk to them face to face, do new things together, meet friends side by side?
Why would you agree to short phone calls and the twice-weekly long calls, and text messages that somehow will never be enough?
In this world (or even city) with hundreds of single people walking endlessly in your loop of existence, why not love the one you're with? There's more definitiveness as to where the relationship's going. You spend enough time with the other person, and can decide sooner or later if it's worth it or not.
Over long distances, that decision becomes suspended in the air, gets briefly thought about in snatches on the bus ride over, and wafts silently away when you see the other person's face mirroring yours--happy you're there, and impossibly so.
Basically really, what you end up with is a frustrating, bittersweet loop of missing the other person, getting angry, making up, talking, laughing, forgetting what the other looks like, -static-static-static-, finally seeing each other, being happy again and missing the other person again.
It's for masochists, I tell you. Masochists who have no choice. Long distance relationships are for emotional nomads. They're not for the faint-hearted and the untrustworthy, the non-conveyor of feelings and thoughts and the proud.
I should know. I've been racking my brains to come up with a reason why I should even continue. But all logic falls apart with a satisfying call, a surprising "I love you" in the middle of the day, or the realization that my smile always gets bigger when I'm with him.
Long distances and me might be at each other's throats at night, on weekends, during certain minutes of the day. But it's worth it. It's worth it.
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13 comments:
Tried it. Didn't take.
it's only worth it if it's the right person... and personally? im not sure we're both worth it. this feels like having a relationship with a fictional character rather than an actual, tangible being of flesh and blood. even the scant texts (extremely far and few in between, i must add) does not make him less fictional. but im too tired to go through the heartache of a breakup, and when i lose him, its not just a boyfriend im letting go of, but an anchor i've had for as long as i can remember... so in THAT sense... maybe he IS worth it... do share your thoughts..
@dom: uh oh. :)
so i take it kamo japon. good to know, we were all wondering.
1. something angel said before: don't expect a lot. fine, he's your best friend since forever and he's in cebu. that means twice the effort to talk to each other. basin gapride pride na pud ka. hehe.
2. fictional boyfriends are only supposed to occur in high school (when he's sitting next to you, being boring, yet you're so engrossed with your version of him). so talk. or attempt to talk. if he doesn't make an effort, ask him why not.
3. how has he been? how often do you see each other? we have no idea. but we hope it works out. :)
i believe that long distance relationship works for the right people. and i mean people who loves beyond bounderies... and you're right about it when u said long distance relationships are for emotional nomads... the non-conveyor of feelings and thoughts and the proud. it's all worth it. keep it up!!!! mwuah!!!!!! see u in bantayan. hehehe i might not be able to go with u guys sa siargao. but i'll try my best. i promise. hehehe
You are pretty strange, Mich... to be even confused in the first place.
@ johan: whaaat?:) i wasn't confused. i was just... bothered.hehe.
So, what is really important to you? Commitment? Romance? Physical togetherness? Assurance?
for Michelle, it must be physical. hahaha :p
@ Johan: Hoy!bleh.
@ Jello: Make it togetherness period. hehe. you can feel like you're together naman when you're constantly communicating.
it never works.
i think it will work for married people because they're more obliged to keep the commitment...hehehe. ergo, u should marry...hahaha
the most unexpected thing that might happen in the next five years is that michelle will tie the knot before anyone else! hahaha. and i'm serious.. (peace!)
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