on losing it

I cracked today. But then again, I have long been entitled to one.

First, I lost my cellphone, camera (CAMERA!), and wallet to some unknown taxi driver in Iloilo.

Next, I had to deal with tWS stuff. It's getting kinda old, but hey, what can I do?

This is my life without the Weekly Sillimanian:

I would find myself a boyfriend. With more time and with no office to hang out in, I'll have more time to actually fuzzily think about falling in love again. (read: still haven't gotten over the last one. For some crazy reason, I search for the guy every where I go. No closure, no closure.)

I would actually have good grades. This afternoon, as I was taking my Biology midterms, I fell half-asleep, and I didn't know the answers to the exams. No matter how much I promise I will study, the time I do does not come until an hour BEFORE the exam. God help me and my dreams of graduating magna.

I would be healthier. The constant stress, lipas ng gutom, exercise-less days will be gone. One reason why I raved about summer was because I had absolutely nothing on my mind except classes and friends. What a wonderful life that was.

These three things sometimes make me think twice about my life at tWS. But I just shake my head and say that I can handle my work. It's the people that's discouraging me. I have never been a patient person. I don't even see myself as a good mother. (Claudine, in her infinite wisdom, once imagined me shaking a bawling baby, and throwing it away.) Why in the world should I butter up to people who has complaints I am totally tired of addressing?

Unfortunately, I have to answer my question. Because I hate working in an unperfect place. I know, I know. I will die soon because of this. But I do hate conflicts, disorder, sloppy output. I hate not perfect things.

Yes, yes. I'll probably die of a heart attack. This is just the way I am.

And in the end, I know that happy people produce better outputs.

The half-faced lady is ringing the bell. to be continued..